What does holiness mean?
The root of kiddushin is kuf, daled and shin which means to separate. Something is holy because it is separated, distinguished, dedicated, sanctified and apart from something else.
The world is divided into three realms: Space, Time and Intellect; olam, shanah and nefesh. Hashem has given us mitzvos that sanctify each realm.
Some examples include:
Space – Eretz Yisrael as Eretz ha-Kodesh, the Holy Land
Time – Shabbos Kodesh for the holy day of the week, Shemittah for the years
Intellect – Purification of the mind through Torah study, kedushas and taharas ha-guf with the laws of tum’ah / taharah and kashrus
The Rambam named one of the 14 books that comprise the Mishneh Torah, Sefer Kedushah, Book of Holiness. There are only two sets of laws in Sefer Kedushah: 1 – Forbidden sexual relationships and 2 – Forbidden foods. The Rambam explains that with these two areas of law Hashem sanctified us and separated us from the goyim. In both cases the Torah says separation, ve-hivdalti and va-'avdil:
22. You shall therefore keep all my statutes, and all my judgments, and do them; that the land, where I bring you to dwell in it, vomit you not out.
23. And you shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you; for they committed all these things, and therefore I loathed them.
24. But I have said to you, You shall inherit their land, and I will give it to you to possess it, a land that flows with milk and honey; I am the Lord your God, which have separated you from other people.
25. You shall therefore differentiate between clean beasts and unclean, and between unclean birds and clean; and you shall not make your souls abominable by beast, or by bird, or by any manner of living thing that creeps on the ground, which I have separated from you as unclean.
26. And you shall be holy to me; for I the Lord am holy, and have separated you from other people, that you should be mine.
--Vayikra 20
Marriage is called kiddushin because it sanctifies and dedicates the chassan and kallah to each other and separates them from everyone else. The birkas ‘erusin says:
Ve-tzivanu ‘al ho-‘aroyos, ve’asar lanu ‘es ho-‘arusos, ve-hittir lanu ‘es ha-nes’uos lanu ‘al ye-dei chuppah ve-kiddushin.
…Commanded us regarding forbidden unions; Who forbade betrothed women to us and permitted women who are married to us through canopy and consecration….
Holy matrimony is kiddushin. The chassan and kallah are holy to each other; dedicated to each other, permitted to each other and separated and forbidden to others.
Although, according to Rav Kafih, the Rambam did not conclude the birkas ‘erusin with the words ‘al ye-dei chuppah ve-kiddushin. The Rambam stopped at mekadesh yisrael because the kedushah of ‘am yisrael is not based solely on the chuppah and kiddushin of a pe-nuyah alone. Rather, kedushas ‘am yisrael is based on the laws of ‘isurei biah and ma’achalos ‘asuros.
May all chassanim and kallos be zokheh to a life of kedushah and taharah, kedushas ha-nefesh and kedushas ha-guf.
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